The holidays immediately following my mother’s death and my father’s incarceration and my break-up with my fiance were dark.
It took me years to climb, claw out of the deep loneliness and victim stance I was living as my life.
I felt sorry for myself.
Yes, I lived through a big shocking sudden tragedy.
My mother’s murder by my father. The disruption of my life as I knew it and how I thought it would always be.
But…if I really get honest- it’s not like everything was AMAZING before my father shot my mother.
There were years of emotional abuse, witnessing physical abuse in my household, being torn between my love for my mom and my adoration of my dad. The restraining order my mother got, her fears, my father’s denials, his lies, his coldness, his mental illness (which I didn’t recognize at the time)
But all that- before my mom’s death was what I called NORMAL. And in this place of NORMAL we would celebrate holidays together as if there wasn’t a history or betrayal and rage and anger and grief and abuse.
I certainly got really good at compartmentalizing and seeing the good. You could even say I was an optimist and I truly did experience love and the ability to trust.
But here’s the thing I learned through the loss of my family in one night and the inner growth I have experienced through deep work over the last 20 years….
It’s NOT GOOD ENOUGH to live a lie for the sake of keeping the peace- and not even the peace sometimes- but rather keeping the status quo and the roles we’ve been taught to play.
This is why I am running my 5 Day Peace During the Holiday Challenge.
Because it’s time for every adult to move from the child role or the younger sibling role or whatever role has been assigned you and you regress into when you are around your family of origin.
Got a great family? Then this post isn’t for you.
Got a challenging, dysfunctional, disrespectful family or family member you choose to be around each holiday (Yes- you choose it) then this FREE Challenge is my gift to you.
You’re going to learn how to change the patterns that have kept you stuck, small or resentful.
You’re going to learn how to be empowered by moving out of blame.
That’s right you have an opportunity to let go of your blame- or keep it- but then this challenge is NOT for you- cause you aren’t ready.
But..that blame is hurting YOU more than you know it. BLAME keeps you small, stuck and giving your power over to the people who you believe hurt you.
I’m excited to offer you what I learned from my deep dive work, my study and my commitment to feel joy again and to thrive again and to experience peace.
See you on the inside.
We started today as soon as you sign-up you’ll get Lesson One and Lesson Two drops tomorrow.
Have this Thanksgiving be your best ever.
Join this FREE Challenge here:
https://brendaadelman.lpages.co/peace-during-the-holidays-5-day-challenge/
